Weaving The Dream

Went out to the mailbox yesterday, little expecting that there was a ticking bomb inside.

OK, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I am a writer and what was in that mailbox is something every writer dreads…a letter of rejection.

This letter, standard in its form—sorry, but you aren’t for us, sure you will find an appropriate home, etc. etc.—was from a well-respected agency who had asked to look at the entire manuscript of my fantasy novel.  I was so hopeful.  After all, how many times do we get that far in the process?

Rejection in any form is a hard thing to take.  I know.  While my weaving and writing have been accepted and purchased by the best, my weaving and writing have also been rejected by the best for almost 15 years—by craft show juries for the best craft shows (even after being in them previously, always a puzzler), by craft galleries and museum shops buyers, by well-to-do private customers, and by those adorably confusing and unpredictable agents and editors.

Rejection, as hard to take as it sometimes is, is just the nature of the business.  In fact, it is the nature of life. And yet, we always wonder why?  Why don’t they like me?  Why don’t they like my work?  Why, why, why…?

If we can move past the place of curling into a ball and chanting,  “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m going to eat some worms!” then we can use those rejections, personal or professional, for evaluation, motivation, and action.

First, we can check to make sure that we are bringing the best of who we are and what we do to our relationships, our creativity, and our work.  Then, we need to remember and understand an oft forgotten truth that is really difficult for some of us to swallow.  Repeat after me, “Not everyone is going to love me, my work, or my creative expressions.”  Did you choke on that a bit?  Take a swallow of water.

Sorry, that is just the way it is, AND that is what makes life so grand and exciting.  Everyone is different and has different tastes and desires and needs.  The challenge, yes, challenge, is to find the match to who we are and what we have to offer while not compromising the essence of our work or ourselves.

So we use the fact that this lover, this employer, this agent/editor doesn’t like who we are or what we have to offer to take action to find the one who does.  As sales and motivational leaders like Tony Robbins remind us, each “no” brings us that much closer to the “yes”.  So, we use the rejection as a catalyst, as a kick in the pants to get moving onto the next candidate in our search for true love, fortune, and fame.  That way, instead of blowing us, and our self-esteem, into smithereens, we cut that colored wire of rejection and totally disarm the whole thing.

So, yesterday, after doing the curling into a ball and chanting routine for a few minutes, I sat down at my computer and did some networking with authors and publishers who will be at Book Expo America which I am planning to attend, and even set up an appointment with a publisher.  I used that blasted letter to get me moving on to the next possibility.  I totally disarmed that letter.

I am still thinking of putting it in the freezer to chill off, though.  Just in case…
 

Recently, I was a guest on a panel of authors speaking to writers at an event sponsored by the International Women’s Writing Guild, held in New York City. The event was on a beautiful spring weekend when most people would rather be outside in their yards and gardens.

But writers will gladly give up fun in the sun to find out the secrets to getting a book published—and they will travel a far distance for the same reason.  At this event, audience members were from New York City, the surrounding metropolitan area and nearby states, as well as from as far away as Texas and Peru. The authors on the panel also came from far away places like New Orleans and Michigan.

While I was amazed at the distance people had traveled to be at this NYC event, I realized I should not have been.  After all, for five years I was a volunteer Speaker Host at the Maui Writers Conference.  Each year I spoke with writers from all over the US who had planned and saved and finagled in order to come to the conference, attend the seminars, and meet the agents and editors in this paradise setting. Writers will go to great lengths and great distances to study and learn about the art, craft, and business of writing.

Here is the thing though.  We—and by “we” I mean anyone involved in creativity of some form—can use the learning process as a form of, uh oh, PROCRASTINATION!  Yes, the more we think we have to learn, to read, to study, the longer we are able to procrastinate, put off having to actually create, having to actually risk life and ego to finally put our imaginative ideas into form.  And this attending of conferences, reading more books, taking more classes, eases that nagging sense of guilt that we should be doing something.

Don’t get me wrong!  Conferences, books, seminars, classes are important stepping stones to successful creativity—but they are not the true destinations.

As I listened to the other panelists share their stories that day, I heard a similarity between all ten of us.  First, we each had a strong belief in our work, our writing.  Secondly, we had the willingness to do whatever it took—within legal bounds, mind you—to get our books published, even if we had to do it ourselves.

We may do it kicking and screaming, as I did when I finally decided to self-publish my book, Weaving a Woman’s Life, but, in the end, what else can we do if we are to truly and fully honor the Gift of our creative work?

So we must decide.  Are we willing to invest at least as much time, energy, thought, and effort into creating and sharing our work as we are in planning and getting to that next conference? 

We will travel far and long to listen to others tell us of their successes and how we too, can be successful with our creativity.  But the really important questions?  How far will we go to make our creative imaginings manifest in the world?   How far will we go to honor the creative urgings of our souls?