Blasted by Rejection?
Went out to the mailbox yesterday, little expecting that there was a ticking bomb inside.
OK, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I am a writer and what was in that mailbox is something every writer dreads…a letter of rejection.
This letter, standard in its form—sorry, but you aren’t for us, sure you will find an appropriate home, etc. etc.—was from a well-respected agency who had asked to look at the entire manuscript of my fantasy novel. I was so hopeful. After all, how many times do we get that far in the process?
Rejection in any form is a hard thing to take. I know. While my weaving and writing have been accepted and purchased by the best, my weaving and writing have also been rejected by the best for almost 15 years—by craft show juries for the best craft shows (even after being in them previously, always a puzzler), by craft galleries and museum shops buyers, by well-to-do private customers, and by those adorably confusing and unpredictable agents and editors.
Rejection, as hard to take as it sometimes is, is just the nature of the business. In fact, it is the nature of life. And yet, we always wonder why? Why don’t they like me? Why don’t they like my work? Why, why, why…?
If we can move past the place of curling into a ball and chanting, “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m going to eat some worms!” then we can use those rejections, personal or professional, for evaluation, motivation, and action.
First, we can check to make sure that we are bringing the best of who we are and what we do to our relationships, our creativity, and our work. Then, we need to remember and understand an oft forgotten truth that is really difficult for some of us to swallow. Repeat after me, “Not everyone is going to love me, my work, or my creative expressions.” Did you choke on that a bit? Take a swallow of water.
Sorry, that is just the way it is, AND that is what makes life so grand and exciting. Everyone is different and has different tastes and desires and needs. The challenge, yes, challenge, is to find the match to who we are and what we have to offer while not compromising the essence of our work or ourselves.
So we use the fact that this lover, this employer, this agent/editor doesn’t like who we are or what we have to offer to take action to find the one who does. As sales and motivational leaders like Tony Robbins remind us, each “no” brings us that much closer to the “yes”. So, we use the rejection as a catalyst, as a kick in the pants to get moving onto the next candidate in our search for true love, fortune, and fame. That way, instead of blowing us, and our self-esteem, into smithereens, we cut that colored wire of rejection and totally disarm the whole thing.
So, yesterday, after doing the curling into a ball and chanting routine for a few minutes, I sat down at my computer and did some networking with authors and publishers who will be at Book Expo America which I am planning to attend, and even set up an appointment with a publisher. I used that blasted letter to get me moving on to the next possibility. I totally disarmed that letter.
I am still thinking of putting it in the freezer to chill off, though. Just in case…