How Do You Define Success?
I recently returned from a trip with my husband and our friends, Bill and Patty, to Orlando, Florida and—you guessed it—Disney World.
I was overwhelmed by the magnitude of commercial success that arose from one creative idea – Mickey Mouse.
If I could, I’d ask Uncle Walt if, when he created Mickey, he had in mind such megalithic entertainment success. At the original point of creation, how did he define success? One cartoon completed? Fame and recognition? Making hundreds if not thousands of people smile at his mouse? A significant deposit in his bank account?
That last question is the challenge and why I’m not sure how I define success anymore.
For creatives, success so often isn’t about the money we make. It is about expression, completion, appreciation, and recognition (a big one, that). Yet, we live in a culture that most often defines success by position and financial achievement, which can leave us feeling creatively devalued and powerless.
This can be really hard on creative males who don’t follow the tried and true path of business career and advancement (and I know this from friends and our sons), but I think it is even more challenging for women who spend much of their creative time and energy raising children before finally being able to move fully into other creative expressions.
We become accustomed to not being valued for our creativity because no one pays us to be mothers—absolutely one of the most creatively challenging professions (yes, a profession if done with passion and commitment) out there. So when we turn to writing, painting, dancing, etc. we are not surprised when we aren’t paid well if at all. We are used to doing the things we love, to gestating and giving birth to our creative children without pay or recognition.
I used to define my weaving success as selling a throw or shawl or scarf to someone who was excited to have it and appreciated the rich colors and seductive textures. Once achieved, success became selling my work to a reputable gallery that recognized the quality of my work. I achieved that. Still, I had business debt and sons in college so success eventually became selling a certain dollar amount at a show, at which point it lost some of its joy because of the pressure to make enough and to sell enough.
I used to define my writing success as having a good magazine or site buy my work so others could read it, thereby gaining recognition. After that, success was getting my manuscript taken on by an agent, which did happen. The next step to success was getting the book taken on by reputable publisher, which didn’t happen. So, because I believed in the book, I published it myself (I can hear you groan…). Weaving a Woman’s Life: Spiritual Lessons from the Loom is, I believe, already a success since, besides winning national awards, many women have shared with me their appreciation for the insights and help gained from the book. Still, in others’ eyes, in the eyes of the publishing world and beyond, the book is not a success because I haven’t sold enough, i.e. made enough money from it.
So am I a success? Today, I don’t know. If I died tomorrow, I’d believe that I was a terrific success at creating and raising, with my husband, three intelligent, compassionate, and multi-talented sons. I’d know that I successfully created a national reputation as a weaver of beautiful garments and throws. I’d know that I wrote and published an award-winning book that has helped women of all ages and is a legacy of sorts for my sons.
Still, if I died tomorrow and you looked at how many weavings or books I sold, and then you looked at the money in my business accounts—well, I guess I would be a failure…
On some days, I absolutely believe I am a success. On others, like today, that position is hard to maintain. No wonder that so many of us experience creative blocks, or create something without passion or meaning, or give up our creative passions to wait tables or sell lingerie instead.
So, today, are you a success?
November 13th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Beautifully stated! Exactly the way I feel. Thank you.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
As long as you took a risk in getting there, then yes, you are a success. And sometimes it’s just risky showing up.
(Especially if you are wearing lingerie when waiting tables…)
November 13th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Yes, wearing lingerie while waiting tables could be risky, unless you are a romance writer looking for novel ideas…
Then it could be inspiring! And think of the tips!
November 13th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I’d say, yes, you are a success. Many goals you’ve targeted have come to fruition. Money is tricky in a money-driven economy like ours. If you don’t have it, life is hard and respect often seems nonexistent. Still, even here, people see accomplishment and don’t always attach it to dollars. I think you’re a raging success.
But I know what you mean about not feeling much like a success sometimes. Today is a good day for me in terms of success, but many are not. And the target keeps moving. Today I am a success. Saturday will be a different story. I shall persevere.
November 13th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Whew! I consider myself, like you, a success in a long list of activities but none that bring in much money. And I’d like to define my success in life as the achievement of that long list. That will require a mental change I haven’t achieved yet. Thank goodness I’m rich with friends who see those non-monetary successes as true gold. Perhaps thats the true meaning of success. But it sure would be nice to have some money too!
November 13th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Ann, the target does keep moving doesn’t it. On the one hand that is good because it keeps us growing and stretching. On the other hand it can get exhausting. Congratulations on being a success today and here’s hoping Saturday is the same.
Liz, the mental attitude is always key and friends who understand your journey are a real blessing. And, yes, having some money too would be just wonderful. Let me know if you hear about any pots of gold anywhere…