Toot Your Own Horn!
“So where have you taught dreamwork?” a metaphysical shop owner in Indiana asked me when I broached the subject of presenting dream workshops to his customers.
“Uh, well,” I said, stepping back, “I’ve, uh, taught regionally in New York and the surrounding area, but, uh, I want to teach elsewhere now…”
Great answer, huh? Makes you want to hire me to teach on the spot, doesn’t it? NOT!
Two nights before that conversation, I had a dream, and, if I had paid more attention to that dream as I teach others to do, I might have been prepared with a better answer for the shop owner. In the dream, I am promoting dreamwork as a great tool for executives to help create company vision, team bonding, and stress management. I remember speaking passionately to this person, using my hands, and leaning forward as I talked. I felt strong and confident about what I, and the dreamwork, had to offer. I woke in the middle of pointing out other benefits.
This is how I should have talked to the owner of that Indiana shop—leaning forward, speaking with passion and clarity.
My husband called me on it (lovingly, of course) and said my body language was sabotaging me and that there was a disconnect between how I talked about myself to potential employers and how I handled a class of dreamers.
Why is it that many creative and entrepreneurial types (especially we women) are so lousy at self-promotion?
Even after years of experience promoting my weaving while standing in my booth at craft shows, talking to retailers and private customers alike about the unique quality, color, and finish of my work, I still manage to become shy, tongue-tied, and apologetic about my book and my speaking and teaching. Why is that?
Maybe it goes back to those days in elementary school when I discovered that my classmates did not like someone who always had the answers. Or maybe it is our societal mindset that says expertise belongs only to those possessing framed degrees and credentials. Or maybe we just don’t believe we are good—good enough—until someone else (with degrees and credentials, or even more impressive, fame!) tells us we are. Better yet is to have more than one someone tell us…and tell us…and tell us!
Am I a good teacher of dreamwork? I am a GREAT teacher of dreamwork because I have been practicing and teaching dreamwork for almost 15 years, and because I love sharing the magic and power and wisdom of dreams with others. I love seeing people light up when an insight into their dreams gives them insight into their lives.
Wow! See, I can promote myself! I am just going to have to practice saying those last two sentences over…and over…and over. Toot, toot!
January 26th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I think it also matters what you are tooting about. If someone asks me if I am good at something I don’t care about, say learning new software and teaching it to others, I have no problem saying I’m good at. There is no emotional tie to it.
But ask me about something I care about and look out. Within ten seconds, you will hear a dozen reasons why I can’t do it. Don’t have time to do it. Why you really don’t want me to do it.
Which is probably why I’ve never gotten to the self-promotional stage…
January 29th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Yes you will have to practice, because you are absolutely brilliant at dreamwork, and more people should benefit from this talent The more you practice, the easier it will become. I know you know how to toot your own horn. I don’t know what happened in that store, other than you weren’t prepared for the question. But now you are, and you will never make that mistake again. All in all, I would say it was a great learning experience for you.